May 18, 2014 by Alicia
“Mothering a Son.” Definition: flying blind. I don’t even know where to begin about how overwhelming this idea is to me. I don’t know how boys think – or how they seemingly think about “nothing.” 😛 What I do know is that the Y chromosome is quite a burden to bear. We live in a world where the idea of “being a man” has been heavily skewed by societal norms while rejecting biblical standards. This makes me sad as a Christian and terrified as a mama.
My hope for him is that he sees his need for Jesus. That he recognizes he is a sinner desperate for grace only a Savior can provide. That he knows God wants an intimate relationship with him. I long for him to experience salvation and to find God on his knees, daily.
My hope for him is that he feels free to be himself. That he feels free to talk about what’s on his mind. I pray he never feels minimized because of his thoughts or ideas. I hope he feels free to try new things. I hope he knows he is valuable and so are his passions, whatever they may be. I hope he tries, fails, and tries again.
My hope for him is that he loves a girl, in the right way and at the right time. I hope he holds the utmost respect for women. I pray he chooses girl friends in his life that respect themselves and respect him enough to make wise choices about their own behavior in his presence. I pray he makes wise decisions regarding his own purity and emotional well-being. I hope he knows that instant gratification can lead to lifetime anguish. I pray he understands his actions can have consequences.
My hope for him is that he is a good friend. Good friends attract other good friends. I pray he is the boy who reaches out to the hurting, the lonely, and the outcast. I hope he never treats anyone poorly because they value different things. I pray he responds well when he is ridiculed for having different values. I pray he is never a bully and confident enough to disregard other bullies. I hope he surrounds himself with likeminded friends who will lift him up instead of dragging him down.
My hope for him is that he is a leader. A leader to his wife and family, if nowhere else. I pray he understands the importance and responsibility of being a leader. I pray he is a protector of his family. I pray he is a provider for his family. I pray he is a comforter for his family. My hope is that he is not passive when he needs to be aggressive. That he is not weak when he needs to be strong.
I think most of us would agree we’d all prefer our sons to develop into what I’ve described. This doesn’t happen overnight. Prayer is crucial and parents are essential. A lot is at stake here and I can’t afford to not take it seriously. Unlike my hopes for my daughter, I don’t feel like I have the responsibility of being a direct example for Little Mister regarding manhood. I don’t have the slightest firsthand idea of what it’s like to have that Y chromosome. I would imagine that the hubs would be the #1 role model in our son’s life. I would love it if this fact let me off the hook. Yeah. Right.
As scary as it sounds, who I am will likely form some idea(s) in his head about what his future wife should be. I am the woman in his life whom he will watch (daily) be a wife for 18+ years before he starts looking for his own wife. How I speak to and about his dad will help him understand the level of respect scripturally demanded from a wife. How I show my love for his dad will impact his idea of what love means and what it looks like.
It is my responsibility to teach him to love Jesus. It is my responsibility to show him what the Gospel looks like every day and everywhere. It is my responsibility to teach him how to treat women. It is my responsibility to be a Proverbs 31 woman because that’s the kind of woman I pray he marries someday. Demanding. Intimidating. Unrelenting.