You Know You Have a Baby When…

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May 4, 2012 by Alicia

In celebration of being a mom for a whopping (ha) six months, here are some telltale signs that you might be a mother of a baby:

-You’ve been peed on MANY times.

-Picking someone else’s nose is a normal part of your life.

-You sleep through a thunderstorm but jerk awake if your child sighs in their sleep.

-You regularly sniff someone else’s butt.

-Everyday life reminds you of a Dr. Seuss rhyme.

-You have spit up in your hair.

-You have spit up on your shirt.

-You have spit up in your bra.

-You realize you have spit up in these places and go out anyway because you just don’t care.

-When your baby starts to throw up, you hold out your hands.

-The question “what kind of poop was it” is your dinner conversation with your husband.

-Taking a shower becomes a sacred haven where you only have to be concerned with yourself for 15 minutes.

-You keep a toothbrush at your kitchen sink solely to scrub poop out of onesies.

-You have literally cut your baby out of a onesie because it was just too poopy to try and take off over their head.

-You feel like the laundry never ends.

-You encourage belching and farting.

-When you get 4 hours of consecutive sleep you feel like a new woman.

-So much more about your own parents makes sense.

-You’ve nursed on the toilet because you couldn’t hold it any longer.

-You double diaper your child at night because they don’t make “over night” diapers small enough.

-Your child has exposed your cleavage in public when they pull down your shirt while being held.

-You open your soda can in the garage just so you won’t wake the baby.

-You blow your nose in the garage just so you won’t wake the baby.

-You talk on the phone in the garage just so you won’t wake the baby.

-You meet delivery men outside so they won’t ring the doorbell during nap time.

-You make the most ridiculous faces and sounds just to get your baby to smile.

-When a baby is crying in public and it’s not yours, you let out a sigh of relief.

-You are excited to get the mail because that means you get to go outside.

-Your baby looks at you funny when your hair is down because she only ever sees it pulled back.

-Your baby determines what you eat, when you eat, and how you eat.

-Your entire day revolves around feeding schedules and nap times.

-You don’t care if your child’s outfit matches, as long as it keeps them warm/cool.

-You feel like you always have dry slobber on your face, arms, neck, and hands.

-You wish you could pause time.

-You can’t believe you carried and birthed another human being.

-You have the scar to prove it.

-Your baby’s smile makes even the worst of days better.

-Your baby’s giggle is one of the sweetest sounds you’ve ever heard.

-You wouldn’t trade being a mom for anything…..

Linked with: The Modest Mom Blog


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